Setting Healthy Boundaries

One of my mentors once told me that, “setting boundaries is for us, not the other person.” What I have learned about setting boundaries is that it can be more challenging for those of us who are learning and implementing boundary setting as an adult. Many of the people in our lives are used to and prefer us not having any boundaries. Without boundaries, we exhaust ourselves trying to keep up. Often times, this is even to the detriment of our health.

This exhaustion inspires change. When we begin to set healthy boundaries as an adult, it is common to get push back from current friends and family. It is also common to lose some unhealthy relationships with our new way of being. How is this a bad thing? In Dr. Charles and Jim Fay’s (2000) book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, they state that, “it is a child’s job to push boundaries.” In my experience, the same is true for adults. 

If someone else’s choices and behaviors are not changing, we have to change our behavior and set boundaries for our health. We cannot control another person’s actions or responses. But, we can control setting boundaries and enforcing them. Where are you sacrificing your health, values, and energy for someone else’s choices? Lessen the burden by setting healthy boundaries. 

References 

Fay, J. & Fay, C. (2000). Love and logic magic for early childhood: Practical parenting from birth to six years. Love and Logic Press.